Too much of anything... Leads to none of it at all.
Would you want to know the truth if even it would hurt? The most beautiful pain is that of unrequited love & the damn awful truth.
A FEW RANDOM TIDBITS
- KOCE Orange County's educational channel is the best & only television I've watched in a while. Dorking out to the max, I know.
- I usually do better in school during my senior year. I really feel like a good student now who does reading and homework regularly, not procrastinating.
- What's the difference between a big forehead & a receding hairline? riiight?!
- I usually do better in school during my senior year. I really feel like a good student now who does reading and homework regularly, not procrastinating.
- What's the difference between a big forehead & a receding hairline? riiight?!
DON'T WORRY
I will soon get out of this funk and start blogging about normal things like a happy child. I've got a new soft robe, a body pillow, and a something else to get me through the nights. I don't need anyone (i want someone), but really I just need me. School's fine, I actually tend to cuddle up with my textbooks or eat dinner with them. I love seeing good friends on campus and taking notes in my supercute notebooks; sleeping & doodling during class has been kept to an all-time low. I'm able to focus during work without surfing the internet or instant messaging too much. The workouts are still regular and endorphin-releasing. The people at the ARC are gorgeous in their sweat-shine, gym attire and hands that smell of free-weight metal -- oh so motivating. Annika says I run fast... and hopefully I'm running far far far away from you.
ACROPHOBIA: FEAR OF HEIGHTS
Not sure if I really like smoking. When I'm high,
- I feel like people think I'm stupid.
- I think that guys are making sexual puns when they're actually not.
- I laugh uncontrollably.
- I get emo and super thinkish.
- I get stuck in a restricted frame of motions for long periods of time.
- I'm not very perceptive to what I am doing or who's talking to who.
- I hear people talking and pay attention, but I don't actually listen.
- I feel obnoxious.
- there are more awkward moments, where people just miss each other in understanding, and there is just bad timing for things.
- my nose feels tingly & at the same time sipon-y.
- I attempt to talk about something deep & profound but then realize it's nothing.
- I start to realize how much I don't like some people, or that I don't like them as much as I thought I did. Or maybe it's just cuz they're high too.
- I'd rather be on methylenedioxymethamphetamine.
FALL CLEANING
Out with the old, in with the warmth... blankets, jackets, socks, leg warmers, boots, beanies, gloves, and scarves. Fall came down on us hard. One day it was summer and we were complaining about the heat. The next thing you know, wind and cold and sickness smacked us in the face like a defensive comeback. Put away the shorts and sandals. Although they served us well in the past, it's time to move on.
WIND free associations: santa anas, gone with the, boreas nortus zephyr & eurus, huff & puff & blow your house down, beneath my wings, chimes, mills
WIND free associations: santa anas, gone with the, boreas nortus zephyr & eurus, huff & puff & blow your house down, beneath my wings, chimes, mills
THE DOCTOR IS IN
Lucy: You're not very much of a person
Charlie Brown: That's certain
Lucy: And yet there's a reason for hope
Charlie Brown: There's hope?
For whatever it's worth, Charlie Brown,
You're you.
Charlie Brown: Gosh, Lucy you know something.
I'm beginning to feel better already.
You're a true friend, Lucy, a true friend.
Lucy: That'll be five cents, please.
Charlie Brown: That's certain
Lucy: And yet there's a reason for hope
Charlie Brown: There's hope?
NO HOPE FOR YOU, blockhead.
but in a world of acceptance, forgiveness, and maturity.. things would end like this..
Lucy: Yes- it's amazingly true,For whatever it's worth, Charlie Brown,
You're you.
Charlie Brown: Gosh, Lucy you know something.
I'm beginning to feel better already.
You're a true friend, Lucy, a true friend.
Lucy: That'll be five cents, please.
BITTERSWEET
.. you're gonna be the death of me
i don't want this, but i need this
i love it and hate it at the very same time.
Still under this damn spell, and everyone can see it so there's no point in hiding it anymore. You may see me doing this & that, being here & there, with whoever him & her... being who I am, and no one else but myself. But there is something deeper deeper in my heart that isn't being represented. That's one thing that isn't easily seen, because actually I feel helpless.. that there isn't much I can do about it. So I wait and wait and wait for those once in a blue moon chances. And like a sucker, I fall hard for it everytime, right away, putting everything aside and thinking what if it's the last time. Because I know even though I'm always up for it, it's not a mutual reciprocity.
ihateyou:(*punch*
i don't want this, but i need this
i love it and hate it at the very same time.
Still under this damn spell, and everyone can see it so there's no point in hiding it anymore. You may see me doing this & that, being here & there, with whoever him & her... being who I am, and no one else but myself. But there is something deeper deeper in my heart that isn't being represented. That's one thing that isn't easily seen, because actually I feel helpless.. that there isn't much I can do about it. So I wait and wait and wait for those once in a blue moon chances. And like a sucker, I fall hard for it everytime, right away, putting everything aside and thinking what if it's the last time. Because I know even though I'm always up for it, it's not a mutual reciprocity.
ihateyou:(*punch*
SPANISH, SUBLIMATION & ENCRYPTION
Friends have duly noted my casual & sporadic use of Spanish in the midst of English conversation. Friends have also remarked about my being cryptic in some of the art and doodling I do. I love puzzles, I love making people guess, I love challenges and imperfections. Which explains why I am still stuck on certain things to this day, and reject other things that often come my way.
The use of Spanish and encryption have aided in giving off subliminal messages to the world. Whether it be in an away message or in conversation. And it has, in general, led to a very creative side of me. Initially these habits formed because I was too shy or scared to show/say how I really thought and felt. So in a way, I still got my message out but without really saying it.
I am still very cryptic in a sense to this day but it's nothing I am ashamed of. It fuels my creativity and I find it very entertaining. Ha Ha. However, I am working on just telling it how it is, straight up. Less hiding, less games. I surprise myself at how much more and more I am opening up and the things that come out of my mouth sometimes. It's like so much easier to just be yourself instead of putting in all that effort to cover up. But it's always nice to maintain some privacy and have your own little world to yourself.
The use of Spanish and encryption have aided in giving off subliminal messages to the world. Whether it be in an away message or in conversation. And it has, in general, led to a very creative side of me. Initially these habits formed because I was too shy or scared to show/say how I really thought and felt. So in a way, I still got my message out but without really saying it.
I am still very cryptic in a sense to this day but it's nothing I am ashamed of. It fuels my creativity and I find it very entertaining. Ha Ha. However, I am working on just telling it how it is, straight up. Less hiding, less games. I surprise myself at how much more and more I am opening up and the things that come out of my mouth sometimes. It's like so much easier to just be yourself instead of putting in all that effort to cover up. But it's always nice to maintain some privacy and have your own little world to yourself.
idkne+
i'm a shoe, without my other half to complete the pair.
eye one chew.
i'm a shoe, without my other half to complete the pair.
eye one chew.
PLACEMAT
Perhaps we make new friends all the time, and hang out with certain ones more than others. But that doesn't mean anyone gets replaced or forgotten. You are still to me irreplacable for whatever you're worth. And no one else can do what you do to me. A placemat is not just for decoration, or for holding one's place, or for making clean-up easier. It also reminds us of future opportunities. There is a fighting chance.. that when we're ready to eat, we will be supported and welcomed and there is always a place in time that we belong.
VERITAS INLUSTRAT
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1 comments
"The Truth Enlightens" (Latin)
It feels good to be yourself and know that people will accept you for who you are. It's so much easier when you don't have to pretend or put up a front. There are some things you may have tried to hide before but when it all comes out eventually, just roll with the punches. If people are really true friends, they won't judge you based upon what you do or who you associate with or who you love. They take the effort to see who you are as you alone, who you are deep down inside despite all the social and physical clutter of the world. People will excuse your mistakes, some of the things that you may accidentally say, and look beyond your clumsiest times. All that matters in the end is that you laugh at yourself and you know who you are. If your heart is in the right place and you have good intentions then live it out, but don't be afraid to fall or make mistakes cuz that's how you learn and appreciate.
It feels good to be yourself and know that people will accept you for who you are. It's so much easier when you don't have to pretend or put up a front. There are some things you may have tried to hide before but when it all comes out eventually, just roll with the punches. If people are really true friends, they won't judge you based upon what you do or who you associate with or who you love. They take the effort to see who you are as you alone, who you are deep down inside despite all the social and physical clutter of the world. People will excuse your mistakes, some of the things that you may accidentally say, and look beyond your clumsiest times. All that matters in the end is that you laugh at yourself and you know who you are. If your heart is in the right place and you have good intentions then live it out, but don't be afraid to fall or make mistakes cuz that's how you learn and appreciate.
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