indecision
on the fence
last minute actions
spontaneity
no solid plans
not sticking to the schedule
changes of heart back&forth
contradicting myself
never really sure anymore
GIVE THANKS & BE HAPPY FOR WHAT IS RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE
Not just today, but every day, I think how lucky I am. Wait, actually it's more than luck -- I am blessed. I'm so thankful to have my mom & dad (together, happy, healthy, rational) & sister (role model, beautiful, caring, best friend). I always think about how reckless I live my life sometimes with the drinking & drugs, or how sometimes I bitch about stupid, trivial matters. All I need to keep in mind is my family, education, health, home, talents, friends, experiences.. and not take them for granted. It is so easy to make one false move and lose something or everything important to me, yet I've made it this far despite my often careless actions. So i know there is a God, watching over me.. not some streak of luck that has yet to run out.
GARDEN OF TEMPTATION
The evil snake is trying to tempt me with forbidden fruit. Except I'm not having a hard time resisting. I know that this is an integrity test; I'm supposed to stay strong to defend and prove my good, sincere intentions. Yeah, sure I may have less fun or not as much fun as I could be, because I hold myself back from things that even officially single people have the right to do. But at least I won't get a bad (or worse?) reputation and I'll be able to live with myself knowing that I made good decisions in the face of temptation. It's called self-respect. Anyway, what's with these ruthless Chow Mein noodles?! Fuck ya'll.
THOUGHTS GONE WILD
Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts! Anything goes! Real, Uncensored, Wild!
So I almost forgot how much I love drinking. Last night broke my "sobriety streak" which i thought was a month-long, but was only 3 weeks long. The only thing I dislike about the next day is that my thoughts run wild and it's hard to turn them off. I'm just so infused with creativity and love and words... oh, it feels good.
Alcohol loves me & I love YOU! muah <3
So I almost forgot how much I love drinking. Last night broke my "sobriety streak" which i thought was a month-long, but was only 3 weeks long. The only thing I dislike about the next day is that my thoughts run wild and it's hard to turn them off. I'm just so infused with creativity and love and words... oh, it feels good.
Alcohol loves me & I love YOU! muah <3
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